What Are You Waiting For?

Yesterday was a typical day, or was it?

When I reflected on the day's events I realized that there was a common thread. First, I had a co-worker come into my office for chat. She is in an unhappy marriage and I believe wants to leave, but for some reason doesn't have the ability to do so even though she is miserable. I keep asking her what she is going to do and offer suggestions and advice.

Second, I had lunch with a dear friend who was frustrated because one of her closest friends is terminally ill with less than a year to live. Let me explain. It's not the thought of death that is frustrating my friend, but the fact that her terminal friend seems to focusing on everything negative and not living her last days to the fullest.

Third, I was invited to a home jewellery party last night and during a couple of my conversations with my friends I realized that a few of these people wanted change in their lives, but again just talked about what it is they wanted and not how they were going to get it!

So, again I ask what are you waiting for?

One girl last night told me that writing a book was on her "bucket list" For those of you who don't know what a bucket list is....well, as the name suggests, it's the list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket.

Until recently, I never had a bucket list, but I always did write and edit my goals list. I love crossing off my accomplishments regardless of their magnitude. It doesn't matter if I check off travel to Mexico, have my teeth whitened, or take a yoga class. Once I have completed the task I take great pleasure in crossing that item off my list. Sometimes my goals change, so I edit my list regularly.

I don't worry if some accomplishments may take years to complete, but I do like to include certain tasks that can be completed in a short time frame, so I can feel successful.

I wonder why some people are reluctant to write their list. Are they afraid to fail? Are they afraid to start something? Are they afraid to commit?

I know people who make excuses for putting off change. When I ask, "What are you waiting for?" They say, I will do that once I lose 20 pounds, or I will try that after my children are grown. Every answer may be unique, but regardless of their excuse, the result is the same. If they are waiting for something...they don't want change....they just want to talk about their situation....they just want attention. This isn't necessarily bad, but recognize they don't want help solving their problems. The problems give them something to talk about!

So now when people talk about wanting to change a situation, I ask. "What are you waiting for!" If they have an answer then I know they probably don't really want to make a change. They just want empathy. Which is great since I can listen without worrying about how to help solve their problems.