YES MOM

Not really a big Jim Carey fan, so when we decided to rent the movie, Yes Man a few weeks ago, I had fairly low expectations.

If you haven't had the chance to catch this film, it's about a guy named Carl who was in a rut until he attended a personal development seminar and discovered the power of YES! Carl's life turns around dramatically when he begins to say yes to everything.

I think I have always known the power of yes!

I grew up saying yes, to every invitation I could. I never wanted to miss a birthday, a party, a trip, you name it. I always worried that I would miss out on something if I said no. I loved my twenties. I travelled, made plenty of friends and have memories that I will always cherish.

I didn't stop saying yes, after my daughters were born and I can remember some of my friends would criticize my parenting skills because my children were allowed to pour their own milk or help themselves to the snack cupboard.

Does teaching my children to be resourceful and independent make me a bad parent? I don't think so and if they spilled their full glass of milk. Who cares...you know the saying...

I remember a couple of years ago Sierra asked me,

"Mom, why aren't you like a real Mom?"

I felt a bit panicky when I asked her what she meant by that.

I was thinking, "Does she think I am a bad parent since it was my idea to ask her father for a separation?"

"Do I not meet her expectations or look out for her best interests?"

"Maybe I don't give her enough fruit in her school lunches..."

As all these guilty thoughts are flying through my head Sierra looks at me closely and says,

"You never say no!"

Apparently I am the only Mom she knows who doesn't say no to things.

I pressed her for more information...and asked what I was supposed to say no to.

"Just things," she said. "Sleepovers, play dates things like that."

So I told her,

"Why would I say no just for the sake of saying no."

If we don't have any plans, of course she can have a friend sleep over or go on a play date.

I absolutely think it's important for parents to establish boundaries, rules and guidelines while raising a child, but saying no for no reason seems a bit controlling to me.

So not everyone may approve of me being a "Yes Mom", but I think my daughters both respect me and are developing their own limits and boundaries and isn't that whats important in the end?