True Match...Not so Much!

This story happened a few years ago, but it begging to be told.

About five years ago, when I was still married, a large group of families decided to go camping outside of Edmonton. Unfortunately for us the weather turned nasty shortly after we set up camp, so there we are hours from home in the pouring rain, trying to make the best of a not so great experience.

We managed to get through the night in our tents and trailers, but the next morning when we realized we were in for another day of down pours we decided we needed to take the kids and head into town for some shopping.

Let me clarify...shopping meant driving twenty minutes to the nearest town, Drayton Valley and pulling up in front of their main store, SAAN!

I spent about an hour looking at the latest fashions in the SAAN store and then decided I couldn't take it anymore, so I grabbed Lauren and told her to come with me next door to the Rexall Drugs. The other two Moms stayed in SAAN, so I let Jenna and Sierra continue to shop with them.

It was just Lauren and I in the drugstore, so we were looking at lipstick, nail polish and other beauty items when I noticed a new foundation I had seen on television.

"Look Lauren," I called.

"This is the new true match foundation. It matches perfectly with any skin colour."

"Well, let's try it," suggested Lauren.

The foundation bottles were neatly lined up along the bottom shelf, so we knelt down on the floor in one of the side aisles and began to look at the colour swatches.

"You need to match the colour to the inside of your wrist," Lauren explained to me.

We started with a medium tint, but that seemed to dark, so we tried a shade lighter. Nope, still too dark. We went lighter again, but even that was much darker than my wrist.

As the shades were getting lighter and lighter, we were soon trying pale ivory shades against my wrist.

"This can't be right!" I exclaimed to Lauren, "My skin is much darker than this shade."

"Well," replied Lauren, "This is what you are supposed to do, so try it and see."

Of course there was no tester available in this shade, so Lauren suggested I just open the bottle a tiny bit and dab a teensy bit on my wrist.

I carefully unscrewed the top and gently turned the bottle over to give it a test when GLOB.....a huge amount of the foundation leaked out onto my wrist.

"Oh shit!" I yelled and realized a Rexall employee was heading towards us.

Not thinking straight. I quickly mopped up the foundation from my wrist and quickly smeared it on my face....thinking the True Match would do it's job......
not so!

Lauren turned to look at me and shrieked when she saw that I now looked like some freak from the circus. Half my face tanned and golden bronze the other half smeared with ivory war paint, making me look like a pantomime or something.

"What's going on here?" demanded the stern Rexall lady.

"We were just trying one of your new cosmetics," explained Lauren.

"Is that a tester," she asked with her mouth persed into a tight frown.

"Uh, well, no actually it's not," I started to say when Lauren then interrupted.

"Well, we needed to try it because it doesn't work how its supposed to."

"Of course it does," said the clerk, "It's True Match!"

"Are you a cosmetician," challenged Lauren, "Because this truly doesn't match now does it?"

"Just get out!" demanded the Rexall clerk at the same moment my daughters, Lauren's children and our other two friends walked in the door of the drugstore.

As I meekly left the store trying to hold onto the little dignity I had left and Lauren loyally marching beside me, our kids and friends were watching us with confused looks on their faces, our friends wondering what the hell is on Cindy's face and all of them thinking....how can two grown women get kicked out of a small town drug store!

It happens people, it happens!