When Considering the Consequences

Any mother will tell you it's not easy raising children. You only want what's best for them. You want to protect them and you want to ensure they make only healthy choices.

Any mother will also tell you that it's impossible to ensure they only make healthy choices.

So while you can't prevent your children from making mistakes, you can teach them about CONSEQUENCES.


Has anyone ever told you that you will have to face the consequences or have you ever heard the expression you will have to pay for the consequences? How about suffer the consequences?

All of these idioms have a negative connotation. I prefer the quote, "There are no rewards or punishments, only consequences.

This just means you will need to be comfortable with your decision and prepared for the results of your actions.

When Jenna was only two I suggested we go to the park. It was early spring, so while the sun was shining, it was a bit chilly and kind of muddy. Jenna wanted to wear her new sandals. I told her to put on boots in case she stepped in a puddle or slipped on the wet ground. Jenna insisted she only wanted to wear the sandals, so I acquiesced and for the first time explained to her about consequences. I told her that it was her decision to wear sandals, so if she got her feet wet or ruined her new shoes it would be her responsibility. I told her that I wouldn't be mad if either of these things happened, but if it did she couldn't be upset with me. I can't remember, but I think we left the park virtually unscathed. I think her shoes were a bit wet, but no major melt downs occurred.

Shortly after this experience I became pregnant with Sierra. I went to my doctor and told her that considering I had a cesarean when I was pregnant with Jenna, I was not adverse to the idea of another c-section with Sierra. I also explained to my physician that if I was to have the cesarean I also wanted a tubal ligation. I wanted to have my tubes tied.

Now considering I was only 32, my doctor could have refused. Instead she looked me in the eye and told me I seemed like the kind of woman who could live with the consequences. I took her remark as a compliment. I knew the risks of a tubal ligation. I also knew I only wanted two children and I knew that if I ever changed my mind and wanted another baby I would have to remember I made a decision that had life-changing consequences.

There are small consequences and huge consequences. If you ruin your new shoes, you can always go out and buy another pair, but deciding to have your tubes tied likely means you will never be able to get pregnant again.

Yesterday, while I was driving Jenna and Sierra to school I brought up the topic of consequences with them.

I was trying to explain to them that some consequences will have lasting affects on their lives and limit choices they want to make in the future.

For example, I told them if they decide to skip school, or quit school that decision will have a lasting impact on their future. They will not be able to go to college or university. They will not be qualified for many careers and they very likely will limit their earning potential which will also limit their choices.

I talked to them about drinking, drugs, sex and all of the things that can have major life-altering consequences. (pregnancy, rape, addictions)

I then told them about a situation that happened twenty years ago....that still haunts me today.

In August 1990, I was working in an employment agency. It was my job to recruit and place staff in temporary job assignments. I met and interviewed an 18 year old named Tammy Thompson. I liked Tammy and placed her with a courier service in a short term temp assignment.

Every went well the first week and then on the second week, Tammy did not show up to work following a long weekend.

Apparently, on the Sunday morning Tammy and a friend were hanging out in a playground when they met a guy named Kelly Lackey. Kelly invited the girls back to his place to see Rock stickers or something and when they went home with him, he brutally raped them both and killed Tammy.

I didn't tell my daughters the gruesome details, so I will leave them out here as well, but I wanted to make my point with the girls and my point is this....

All of the choices we make will have consequences. Most of the consequences we make will have an impact on our lives, but some of the choices we make could have life or death consequences.


Just a thought!