Friends Behaving Badly

I like to think of myself as respectful, thoughtful and gracious, but sometimes I get caught up in a situation and it's only after I realize how badly behaved I was!

Like last weekend, Lauren and I decided to take in a matinee. She arrived at the theatre with her boyfriend and young daughter in tow.

We had plenty of time before the movie was to begin, but since the theatre line ups are known to be long, Lauren was trying to get everything organized. As I was paying for my tickets, she told me to hurry up the stairs to our theatre, so we could save our seats with our jackets.

The price for my movie ticket was $12.50

Usually, I am in a rush when paying for something in a store, so I hand the counter clerk my twenty dollar bill and take back handfuls of change which I then dump into the bottom of my purse, but today I decided to start scooping the loose change out of my bag and begin to sort it on the counter.

In the end I had four toonies, three loonies, four quarters, four dimes, a nickle and five pennies. My purse was lighter, but my conscious a little heavy since I knew there was a long line forming behind me.

I made my way to the theatre, found Lauren, reserved my seat and rushed back down to the concession line.

After several minutes of waiting patiently for our turn, we both started to get anxious. We didn't want to miss the beginning of our movie.

It seemed everyone ahead of us was taking so long with their orders.

"It's all about being organized," Lauren remarked. "People should decide what they are having before getting up to the cashier!"

"I know," I agreed. "This is ridiculous! How long does it take to order some popcorn?"

Lauren and I went on about this for several minutes. I am sure people behind us could overhear our complaining.

Finally it was our turn at the concession. I let Lauren place her order first.

She ordered a combo number one for her and Darrel, an extra pop and a kid's combo for Emma.

The counter person asked Lauren which candy treat she wanted with her combo and it was then Lauren realized she had ordered the wrong combo. Yes, here starts the antics.

"Okay," I say "That's the combo I want, so add mine to your order!" I think I am being helpful.

Now the counter person is trying to figure out who wants what and which treat goes with what combo. Lauren's daughter has her heart set on a certain candy which of course doesn't come with the combo she wants.

I now want to add a hot dog onto my order (It's only two dollars!) Lauren wants extra butter through out her popcorn, I like minimal ice in my drink. the poor girl behind the counter had to tell us twice our candy options that come with our orders and when we count out our money we are short five dollars, so we all dig around in our purses, wallets and pockets to come up with the shortfall. (Again, loonies, toonies, quarters, etc)

I am certain no one took as long as we did in that line up, but it was only when we were walking away with our mountain of junk food did I laugh out loud and realize that we were the worst customers ever. We criticized others for being unorganized and then were completely unorganized ourselves. We couldn't have been less organized if we had tried. To the person behind the counter, the people ahead of us in line and the people behind us...I am sorry!

A few lessons,

One, patience is a virtue

Two, we all make mistakes, or behave badly at times

Three, acknowledge the mistake and endeavor to do better next time!

Friends

Friendship is my most valuable commodity.

I am grateful everyday for the friends in my life and know I am very lucky to have maintained long-lasting strong friendships with several girls over the years.

I have always been a bit wary of the girls I meet who don't have many friends. I think it would be very hard to go through life without having people you can lean on, turn to for advice, or just know that if you need them, they would always be there for you.

I know it's not always easy to keep up friendships, but I am willing to put in the effort since I know how much I enjoy reaping the rewards. I was married 16 years ago and had four bridesmaids. I feel blessed to be able to tell people, I keep in touch with all of my bridesmaids on a regular basis. How many people can say that?


I don't know if it's because we had a really long winter, or we have been experiencing hardships and change during this economic downturn, but I felt really lonely and out of touch with my girlfriends.

I hadn't connected with many of my friends for the last six months, so when spring finally seemed upon us I made an effort to see or talk to the women I care deeply about. Some of these friendships I made in junior high, others in high school, some through employment opportunities and others during my "Mommy" years!

All of these women came into my life for one reason or another, but all of them know me and my life intimately. They watched me make mistakes, watched me acheive my successes and watched me become the person I am today.

These people are so important to me. They know me well and each of them bring something unique to my life. These friendships are built on trust and honesty. When we talk, it takes only a few minutes before we are talking about real issues, feelings and what's going on underneath the surface.

I was going to talk about my relationship with each one of these people, but I couldn't write enough to convey how truly special each of these women are. My life would be much harder and less fulfilling without each of them, so let me just say thank you to each of you. You bring value and love to my life!

YES MOM

Not really a big Jim Carey fan, so when we decided to rent the movie, Yes Man a few weeks ago, I had fairly low expectations.

If you haven't had the chance to catch this film, it's about a guy named Carl who was in a rut until he attended a personal development seminar and discovered the power of YES! Carl's life turns around dramatically when he begins to say yes to everything.

I think I have always known the power of yes!

I grew up saying yes, to every invitation I could. I never wanted to miss a birthday, a party, a trip, you name it. I always worried that I would miss out on something if I said no. I loved my twenties. I travelled, made plenty of friends and have memories that I will always cherish.

I didn't stop saying yes, after my daughters were born and I can remember some of my friends would criticize my parenting skills because my children were allowed to pour their own milk or help themselves to the snack cupboard.

Does teaching my children to be resourceful and independent make me a bad parent? I don't think so and if they spilled their full glass of milk. Who cares...you know the saying...

I remember a couple of years ago Sierra asked me,

"Mom, why aren't you like a real Mom?"

I felt a bit panicky when I asked her what she meant by that.

I was thinking, "Does she think I am a bad parent since it was my idea to ask her father for a separation?"

"Do I not meet her expectations or look out for her best interests?"

"Maybe I don't give her enough fruit in her school lunches..."

As all these guilty thoughts are flying through my head Sierra looks at me closely and says,

"You never say no!"

Apparently I am the only Mom she knows who doesn't say no to things.

I pressed her for more information...and asked what I was supposed to say no to.

"Just things," she said. "Sleepovers, play dates things like that."

So I told her,

"Why would I say no just for the sake of saying no."

If we don't have any plans, of course she can have a friend sleep over or go on a play date.

I absolutely think it's important for parents to establish boundaries, rules and guidelines while raising a child, but saying no for no reason seems a bit controlling to me.

So not everyone may approve of me being a "Yes Mom", but I think my daughters both respect me and are developing their own limits and boundaries and isn't that whats important in the end?

Life is supposed to be Scary!

When is the last time you did something outside of your comfort zone?

Yesterday? Last week? Last year? Never??

I was told many years ago that the best motivator is fear.

We know this...that's why most people would rather die, or show up at work naked than speak in public.

Well, I decided a few months ago, this was the year I was going to start stepping outside of my comfort zone.

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am a huge lacrosse fan. Mostly, thanks to a project I took on a few years ago in school when I had to create a media strategy for the Calgary Roughnecks during the hockey strike year.

I love watching the Roughnecks and for the last two years I would remark to Paul during every game, "If only I was younger, I would play lacrosse!"

Yet, no one was more surprised than him when I came home from work one day and told him I had signed up for a women's lacrosse team.

Being the supportive guy Paul is, he spent the next few weeks hip checking me into the fridge, or elbowing me into the walls...until we learned that my league is not full contact. He was only trying to toughen me up, he claims!

I went to my first practise five weeks ago and was scared out of my mind.

I am 42, out of shape and haven't played a team sport since I was 12.

I am on the "Teal" team. Yes, I know that's not a team name, only a colour, but I love our team. We have about 12 players on our roster. Some who have played for several years and a couple others like me who are totally new.

And here's the best part....I don't suck! Of course I am not a great player, but why would I expect to be after only a few games. I am getting some exercise, meeting new people and learning Canada's National Sport.

It feels great to step outside my comfort zone and challenge myself!

Go Teal Go!

First Day of School

I recently attended a public relations conference and was told by an accomplished writer that if a person spent 10 minutes, three times a day writing...they could finish writing a book in one year.

A year sounds like a long time, but I definitely think I can find 10 minutes, three times a day to get my thoughts down on paper.

I have set my timer for ten minutes, so let's see what I come up with...

When I decided to return to College after being out of high school for twenty years, I had no idea what to expect...

I was excited and terrified at the same time.

Would I be able to achieve good grades and still always important at any age...will I make any friends?

I remember walking into my first class, Interpersonal Communication and thought, "Oh my God!" There were 34 other people in my class, all of which were going to be my classmates for the next three and a half years.

25 of them were in their early twenties, blond and beautiful! Five of them were good looking guys averaging between 20 and 27. Four were brunette, well five including me!

At 36, I wasn't the oldest in my class, or I wasn't until Peggy dropped out after two weeks, leaving me to be the lone middle aged woman.

Since group work was going to play a huge part in my education for the next three years, I knew I had to quickly develop alliances and forge friendships, so these people didn't feel like they had to work with their mother.

First, I rushed out for Botox! Best three hundred dollars I ever spent! At least they couldn't tell how tired I was from trying to raise a family and run my business all while taking a full course load.

Ten minutes over...not bad! Might as well finish my story.

Second, I decided these kids needed to know the real me, the person who is popular, fun and well respected among my peers. Best way to do this was throw them a party!

Not just any party...one of my infamous Martini Parties!

I sent out the invites, ordered the food, hired two bartenders and ensured the Karaoke machine was up running and not just with music from the eighties!

Almost everyone came to my party! It was a great success! I was told by many that it was the best party they had ever been to. (it helped that most had never been to a party where they were served more than chips and dip) Thank god for roast garlic brie and puff pastry!

Those that missed it, were sorry when they had heard how much the guests raved about the night!

The next three years were fantastic! I made solid friendships, was easily able to participate in groups and yes, I occasionally gave motherly advice to those who sought it out!

What I learned...when you want to make a good impression, you only need three things; an opportunity to shine, food and of course, Botox!

Total time 18 minutes!